


[Podfic] The one about flavors of cough syrup and other medication - you may feel better, BUT AT WHAT COST

by rhythmia



Category: No Fandom, Undisclosed Fandom, tumblr fandom
Genre: Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Based on a Tumblr Post, Gen, Live Audience, Live Reading, Medication, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 10-20 Minutes, Silly, Tumblr, Tumblr thread compilation, a journey into flavortown (or flavor trauma??), freetalk, stories from life, the podficcer regrets nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:54:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28417935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhythmia/pseuds/rhythmia
Summary: A compilation of tumblr threads and responses about the....fascinating... flavors that cough syrup and other cold medications come in. Podficced live for a participating live audience.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 24
Collections: Podfic Bingo, Voiceteam Mystery Box 2020





	[Podfic] The one about flavors of cough syrup and other medication - you may feel better, BUT AT WHAT COST

**Author's Note:**

> Performed in front of a live audience:  
> * blackglass  
> * bluegeekEM  
> * rhipiduridae  
> * semperfiona  
> * sobieru

**Length:** 19:09, 13.1 MB  
 **Music:** I Got a Code In My Doze by Barbra Streisand, from Funny Girl (thanks eafay70 for the rec!)  
 **Podfic Bingo squares:** different source medium

**Cover:** by MistbornHero

**Cover image description:**

A digital illustration of six bottles in different colors, with labels indicating their flavors. Top text in serious all-caps black font: "The One About Flavors of Cough Syrup & Other Medication". Subtitle in a casual lowercase red font: "you may feel better," subtitle in a tilted all-caps red font: BUT AT WHAT COST.

The bottles from left to right: 

  * First a large, squat gray bottle with a narrow neck and stopper has a label featuring the equation: a black skull and crossbones = purple grapes =?

  * Next a narrow brown bottle with a short neck and cap, with an oval label with two bright red cherries on a stem.

  * Next a wider green bottle with a square label of a gravestone marked with a drawing of a green lime, and another green lime standing in front of it.

  * Next is a tall narrow brown bottle with a long neck, with a rectangular label with an orange with one green leaf; the orange is stabbed through with three silver needles.

  * Next is a wide sloped blue bottle with a narrow neck and cap, with an arch-shaped label featuring a poisonous orange mushroom cloud as from a nuclear explosion.

  * Last is a short squat purple bottle with a long narrow neck, with a rectangular label with a banana on it. The banana, regrettably, is mostly a way-overripe and almost spoiled dark brown, with a hint of yellow at the stem. 




At the bottom is credits text: "Written by many tumblr users, performed by Rhythmia"

**Download:** click through to [Mediafire](https://www.mediafire.com/file/3spri27iztyz9in/%255BPodfic%255D_Tumblr_cough_syrup_flavors_-_rhythmia.mp3/file) for mp3 or [archive.org](https://archive.org/download/tumblr-cough-syrup-flavors/%5BTumblr%5D%20Cough%20syrup%20flavors.mp3) (see player below) to stream or download

Part of this thread went by on my dash back in November, and I had way too much fun trawling through the notes to compile and organize all the responses. The compiled text is below, credited as we go with each tumblr user's thread linked in-text. Thank you to everyone who gave permission for me to use their words. If I wasn't able to reach you and you don't want me to keep your words in this work, please contact me and let me know.

This was performed live for the Life of the Party Challenge for Voiceteam Mystery Box 2020, please enjoy the audience reactions and commentary :D Thank you Team Phone (it in) for the support with the music recs and the cover!

**Text and transcription starts:**

[Barbra Streisand singing, sounding extremely congested: ACHOO! All I do is sniff, pass that handkerchief, *sniffff*, what a funny feeling in my eyes and ears and throat, OY]

[darkangelofglory](https://darkangelofglory.tumblr.com/post/153757923560) starts us off with:

I sure love being sick and having to take cough syrup in such fantastic flavors as

  * limes at their own funeral

  * the festering corpse of a cherry

  * the broken hopes and dreams of various berries

  * sunshine twinkling on the apocalyptic wasteland of a post-nuclear war hellscape

  * death




[wirrrp](https://wirrrp.tumblr.com/post/153758123800) replies:

you can’t cough if your throat is paralyzed in horror

Folks have a lot of thoughts about that last flavor:

[thespongebobmovie](https://thespongebobmovie.tumblr.com/post/189776181144/kr1g-darkangelofglory-i-sure-love-being-sick), [hey demons its ya girl grace](https://heydemonsitsyagirlgrace.tumblr.com/post/189689878317/darkangelofglory-i-sure-love-being-sick-and), [atroppa-nightshade](https://atroppa-nightshade.tumblr.com/post/632005284969299968/unicornslothfish-bluebonnet-witch), [abreathofatmosphere](https://abreathofatmosphere.tumblr.com/post/189967951810/son-of-drogo-weepingweellow-kr1g) (aka another breath of atmosphere), [house-elf-magic](https://house-elf-magic.tumblr.com/post/189779902589/darkangelofglory-i-sure-love-being-sick-and), [augustdementhe](https://augustdementhe.tumblr.com/post/189697315968/), [zenlida](https://zenlida.tumblr.com/post/632024348148072449/)

  * death is grape

  * By death, did you mean grape

  * Grape shoe polish

  * Battery acid with a hint of grape.

  * And the devil’s attempt at mimicking grape, can’t forget that one

  * I'm more of a 'Grape That Came Back WRONG' kinda gal. It's a classic.

  * grapes that have committed a mortal sin




while [psychoticrambling](https://psychoticrambling.tumblr.com/post/631819352085250048/unicornslothfish-bluebonnet-witch), [vrumblr](https://vrumblr.tumblr.com/post/189679834476/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i), and [feels-time-lmao](https://feels-time-lmao.tumblr.com/post/631860712499757056/unicornslothfish-bluebonnet-witch) suggest

  * grape, made by someone who’s only given clue was that it’s purple

  * malicious purple

  * don't forget Purple ™




Grapes aren't the only fruit! We've got berries and stone fruit from [primaddonaqueen](https://primaddonaqueen.tumblr.com/),

[eversoslightlybitter](https://eversoslightlybitter.tumblr.com/post/189712755638/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i), [lekswig](https://lekswig.tumblr.com/post/613118561760722944/bowiecadmium-jupiterjames-bluebonnet-witch), [supercxth](https://supercxth.tumblr.com/post/612497117576069120/jupiterjames-bluebonnet-witch), [lhyllis](https://lhyllis.tumblr.com/post/189901923889/), and [lexiewrites](https://lexiewrites.tumblr.com/post/632001327593046016/unicornslothfish-bluebonnet-witch)

  * Berry scented laundry detergent

  * See also, some asshole who thought berries needed more menthol

  * Cherry Neurotoxin

  * Cherries but doused in a healthy amount of tar and desperation

  * Toxic Chemical Peach.

  * Chemical Warfare, but disguised in an apricot




**[blackglass]:** I've never had peach-flavored any medicine

**[semperfiona]:** No, I've never seen that

**[blackglass]:** I've only ever seen, like, cherry or strawberry or grape

Some citrus delights from [inventedlove](https://inventedlove.tumblr.com/), [son-of-drogo](https://son-of-drogo.tumblr.com/post/189733714385/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i), [booglebug](https://booglebug.tumblr.com/post/189786551452/bluebonnet-witch-weepingweellow-kr1g), [galacticguppy](https://galacticguppy.tumblr.com/post/612535087054127104/enby-phoenix-hakinnas-overactive-imagination), [crownstealer](https://crownstealer.tumblr.com/post/611508243918995456/jupiterjames-bluebonnet-witch), [bella-gunn](https://bella-gunn.tumblr.com/post/189784609121/bluebonnet-witch-weepingweellow-kr1g), [anachronic-cobra](https://anachronic-cobra.tumblr.com/post/612902744855068672/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i)

  * orange but, like, to the power 10,

  * orange mixed with gasoline.

  * Rotten waxed oranges

  * What about the good old classic “orange that will kill you and make it look like an accident”

  * STINGING ORANGES WITH NEEDLES

  * painfully yet vaguely citrus

  * That one cough syrup you had to take as a kid that tastes like sour fruit mixed with the hubris of mankind




And of course the ultimate fruit flavor: Banana by [bowtiefox](https://bowtiefox.tumblr.com/post/189953900908/bluebonnet-witch-weepingweellow-kr1g), [cyaziris](https://cyaziris.tumblr.com/post/189785887234/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i), [anonsally](https://anonsally.tumblr.com/post/190358297754/jupiterjames-bluebonnet-witch), [avidreader(ffn](https://avidreaderffn.tumblr.com/post/612455510606856192/shego1142-darknight-brightstar)), [jwmelmoth](https://jwmelmoth.tumblr.com/post/189774146893/darkangelofglory-i-sure-love-being-sick-and). [sevensneakyfoxes](https://sevensneakyfoxes.tumblr.com/post/611622483780632576/bowiecadmium-jupiterjames),

  * the melted remnants of a banana smoothie that solidified inside of that paper cup

  * I had a bottle that was banana and menthol

  * banana mucus

  * the flavor that pretended to be a banana if bananas were dipped in rubbing alcohol first

  * incestuous STD of banana

  * Bananas that entered the afterlife after being held on to “for banana bread” until they ripened into the black death in the back of someone’s freezer, and then were reincarnated as dirty sweat socks.




**[semperfiona]:** [indistinct] in my friiiiidge /o\

**[rhythmia]:** is this a reminder for some people to clean out their fridges?

**[sobieru]:** ehhhhhhh euhhh mayyyybe

**[rhythmia]:** it's too late for banana bread, I'm sorry

If fruits aren't your jam, there's always bubblegum from [nightlightprinx](https://nightlightprinx.tumblr.com/post/612501055529418752/jupiterjames-bluebonnet-witch), [luckistar](https://luckistar.tumblr.com/), [moon-purrincess](https://moon-purrincess.tumblr.com/post/189889914758/darkangelofglory-i-sure-love-being-sick-and), [unicornslothfish](https://unicornslothfish.tumblr.com/post/189799610248/bluebonnet-witch-weepingweellow-kr1g)

  * “bubblegum that was stuck to a busy sidewalk for five + years and soaked in hairspray”

  * Bubble gum favored Nair

  * bubblegum but crafted by someone that has never once tastes bubblegum and is going off of a vague secondhand account of the flavor

  * bubble gum, but made by someone who has only ever read about it in a scientific journal




Or maybe licorice is more to your taste, from [bella-gunn](https://bella-gunn.tumblr.com/post/189784609121/bluebonnet-witch-weepingweellow-kr1g), [enby-koi](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/enby-koi/189672458380), [fleetwood-mac-andcheese](https://fleetwood-mac-andcheese.tumblr.com/post/611424893111861248/jupiterjames-bluebonnet-witch)

  * You missed my favorite, Licorice poured from an old boot!

  * Rotten liquorice that haunts you for a week seems to be the one I end up stuck with...

  * Hell froze over and is beginning to thaw aka black licorice




Hmm, how about we try some more natural, herbal flavors: [skyliting](https://skyliting.tumblr.com/post/612689041833541632/), [drowsy-insomnia](https://drowsy-insomnia.tumblr.com/post/632025100718374912/unicornslothfish-bluebonnet-witch), 

[gillesmontagnetoure](https://gillesmontagnetoure.tumblr.com/post/631914302545248256/unicornslothfish-bluebonnet-witch), [hakinnas-overactive-imagination](https://hakinnas-overactive-imagination.tumblr.com/post/612500166943162368/jupiterjames-bluebonnet-witch), [sqbr](https://sqbr.tumblr.com/post/611548827095384064/bowiecadmium-jupiterjames), [willow-wanderings](https://willow-wanderings.tumblr.com/post/613090998810296320/bowiecadmium-jupiterjames)

  * Eucalyptus novocaine Sriracha

  * Cinnamon zinc arsenic

  * honey, but it tastes like pennies

  * Honey flavored dryer sheet

  * frozen herbal pain

  * Every Herb At Once But Poison

  * mint with anger management issues and multiple convictions for indecent necromancy




**[semperfiona]:** Convicted for indecent exposure!

**[rhythmia]:** Indecent exposure!

Okay, so maybe after all this we need a drink. You can't mix alcohol with medication, so you might as well get the consolation prize of booze flavor... from [pyrodarknessanny](https://pyrodarknessanny.tumblr.com/post/189894262141/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i), [theromanticcollective](https://theromanticcollective.tumblr.com/post/190766465971/because-im-freaking-greed-jupiterjames), [shego1142](https://shego1142.tumblr.com/post/612451072113541120/darknight-brightstar-jupiterjames), [icannotreadcursive](https://icannotreadcursive.tumblr.com/post/190957871112/because-im-freaking-greed-jupiterjames), [isaakbutler](https://isaakbutler.tumblr.com/post/189786929601/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i), [reggie-trying-thier-best](https://reggie-trying-thier-best.tumblr.com/post/622385472288718848/thegreatest-fucking-show), [thegreatest-fucking-show](https://thegreatest-fucking-show.tumblr.com/post/622384342826713089/goswlpncmcrfobpjsthpltruaqhtma42)

  * this should be alcoholic but its just lies and sadness

  * How The Feeling of a Whiskey Hangover Tastes

  * Absinthe that’s been watered down, you know, for the kids

  * I’ve got one cold med in particular that’s solidly “the idea of antifreeze, but it burns”

  * The pure, distilled leavings of rocket fuel used to fly to Jupiter

  * Lick the bottom of an old wine barrel

  * Numb but with flavor

  * carpet, but stained with every flavor of gatorade

  * printer ink (don’t ask how i know what that tastes like. it was a long day.)




If you'd rather have a cough drop than a cough syrup, here's some options from [jupiterjames](https://jupiterjames.tumblr.com/post/189892913891/bluebonnet-witch-weepingweellow-kr1g), [meirmakesstuff](https://meirmakesstuff.tumblr.com/post/189775681185/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i), [jenroses](https://jenroses.tumblr.com/post/189775106911/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i), [transcendent-acedia](https://transcendent-acedia.tumblr.com/post/189780234620/), [mama-green](https://mama-green.tumblr.com/post/189787027841/bluebonnet-witch-weepingweellow-kr1g)

  * The feeling that you stubbed your toe only in your mouth

  * The remnants of ginger stir fry pulled from the kitchen sink trap

  * Strawberries squashed into grass and mint

  * Berry but sad and wrong

  * Fruit gusher but worse

  * Spicy cherry popsicle

  * Cherry full of hate

  * Tropical fruit as told by someone who’s never had tropical fruit

  * Hint of hint of Lemon

  * Lemons covered in sunscreen

  * rotting lemon

  * Lemon Mint but gross somehow

  * Minty Death

  * Minty Honey with grave dirt

  * regular Honey Dirt

  * Honey at zero degrees Fahrenheit

  * “mentholyptus sock.”

  * “I sucked a koala’s minty ass”

  * Meth, but Mint flavor




With a surprise guest appearance by:

  * If normal Halls didn’t clear your sinuses, this’ll get you so squeaky clean you’ll be able to smell the 6th dimension




**[semperfiona]:** These sound like they were invented by one of those AIs.

Chewable or dissolvable tablets may be your preferred mode, from [a-well-toasted-brain](https://a-well-toasted-brain.tumblr.com/post/189910673582/bluebonnet-witch-weepingweellow-kr1g), [politicalprocrastinator](https://politicalprocrastinator.tumblr.com/post/612211087874703360/jupiterjames-bluebonnet-witch), [genderhawk](https://genderhawk.tumblr.com/post/190094550884/bluebonnet-witch-weepingweellow-kr1g)

  * quick-hard concrete

  * mint’s father’s brother’s cousin’s uncle’s nephew’s former roommate

  * Blackcurrant cigarette ash

  * Dried up toothpaste mashed into an old lint roller

  * Pink grapefruit after a nuclear war

  * The dust from citrus mold compressed into a tablet

  * A chalk drawing of a mint leaf

  * The festering corpse of a cherry, now with (10 trillion) 10,000,000,000,000 percent more grit!




[bluebonnet-witch](https://bluebonnet-witch.tumblr.com/post/189686936553) says:

May I add, those throat sprays, with flavors such as:

  * Diet icy hot

  * Honey with a side of live bees

  * The last dying breath of something that once ate a jolly rancher

  * Lint, but sharp




Some folks have some country-specific flavors.

[pimentogirl](https://pimentogirl.tumblr.com/post/190014391839/jupiterjames-bluebonnet-witch) shares:

You’re all missing out if you haven’t tasted kids antibiotics syrup in the UK. Imagine oranges got earwax on their peel. That’s it. That’s the flavour.

[brunhiddensmusings](https://brunhiddensmusings.tumblr.com/post/189733065380/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i) notes:

or you could go to japan and its root beer flavored

and learn why japan HAAATES root beer due to such a conditioned response

image description, a screenshot from an anime, of a hand holding a can of root beer. The can label translation reads: Majo saida-. Masochist Cider. do M na anata ni - For the Masochist in You.

Meanwhile in Just Finnish Things, [kavesinisukka](https://kavesinisukka.tumblr.com/post/189760717782/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i) says

Only correct cough medicine flavour:

ammonium chloride - (salty black licorice, as in salmiak candy)

**[rhipiduridae]:** Salmiak! Salmiak! 

**[rhythmia]:** lol, call out (I meant shout out) to the Finnish

Oh Canada, here we come, with experiences by [twofingerswhiskey](https://twofingerswhiskey.tumblr.com/post/612508070834225152), [maelace](https://maelace.tumblr.com/post/618044532686241792/jupiterjames-bluebonnet-witch)

**[blackglass]:** Maple syrup, yes!

Canadian cough syrups have wonderful flavours, which include:

  * YOU MUST NEED MENTHOL. HAVE ALL OF IT

  * This Ingredients List is Illegal Elsewhere

  * cherry

  * Menthol Pt II: Now It Makes You Cry-Vomit

  * Hallucinations (Grape-Flavoured)

  * Dry™

  * Mountain Dew Is Definitely In This

  * TV Static White

  * ‘A mentholated pine tree punches you in the face. For your health.’




**[blackglass]:** What, no maple-flavored anything? 

**[rhythmia]:** Huh, no actually.

**[blackglass]:** I am Disappointed. Letting us down, Canada!

**[semperfiona]:** Maple flavor is sacred! You wouldn't want to pollute it with cough syrup!

**[blackglass]:** I just think it would be the most Canadian thing ever to have maple-flavored medicine! I just think that is a thing they should have. 

**[semperfiona]:** You're probably right. 

**[rhythmia]:** Yeah. Thing is, how much trauma then would you have because then everything is maple flavored? Hmm.

And [shinyhappygoth](https://shinyhappygoth.tumblr.com/post/189903940502/bluebonnet-witch-weepingweellow-kr1g), [mnemoli](https://mnemoli.tumblr.com/post/631831489922924544/psychoticrambling-unicornslothfish), [patchworkgargoyle](https://patchworkgargoyle.tumblr.com/post/620078760187789312/jupiterjames-bluebonnet-witch), and [2mahnas](https://2mahnas.tumblr.com/post/189894567603/pyrodarknessanny-weepingweellow-kr1g) want to talk about another Just Canada thing: Buckley's...

  * tastes like drinking AN ENTIRE PINE TREE.

  * minty turpentine

  * I wonder if any of you have ever tried Buckley’s, which feels like getting punched in the throat by a pine tree wearing eucalyptus knuckle dusters. It’s how I learned how to properly take shots

  * I think they changed the flavour to just death, but the old flavour for Buckley’s Mixture was what my wife affectionately called “Cat Piss and Menthol”

  * Mind you the slogan for that brand is “tastes awful and it works” so its not like they don’t warn you.




**[blackglass]:** Truth in advertising.

Feeling some despair over medicine flavors? Perhaps a balm in these trying times:

[lou-the-naga-queen](https://lou-the-naga-queen.tumblr.com/post/189778449809/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i) shares:

My dad works in pharmaceuticals and believe it or not, they spend a good long time formulating and taste testing these medicines for flavour. Apparently <2 month old babies prefer mint chocolate and raspberry is the best choice for travel sickness.

[neito](https://neito.tumblr.com/post/189813289630/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i) notes:

Fun fact: They have, in the past, made cough syrups and other medicines that didn’t taste like the inside of of a coffin made of various fruits. However, the anti-placebo effect took over; people are so used to medicine tasting bad that when it tastes good, they assume there’s no clinical effect and exhibit worse recoveries than those who took medicines that taste bad.

[purplepints](https://purplepints.tumblr.com/post/189892627986/bluebonnet-witch-weepingweellow-kr1g) would like to share a PSA:

“Children’s”-type formulations of cough syrup & sprays have different flavors and usually the exact same active ingredients!! Read the labels and see if it has instructions for “12+ / Adult dose”! Second, if you get a prescription syrup (at least in the U.S.), you can sometimes get it flavored at the pharmacy! Hope your cold & flu future is now a bit better than your past experiences, everyone!

**[bluegeekEM]:** That's usually only at certain pharmacies though I think.

**[rhythmia]:** Yeah.

**[semperfiona]:** The sign up at my Walgreens that offers it, so yeah. 

**[rhythmia]:** Hm. Something to explore. 

To round off our journey through flavortown, [wonderingstar42](https://wonderingstar42.tumblr.com/post/189796876267/bluebonnet-witch-weepingweellow-kr1g), [officially-lost-my-marbles](https://officially-lost-my-marbles.tumblr.com/post/626313548251922432/so-what-if-im-crazy-bluebonnet-witch), [ihavenoideahowtodream](https://ihavenoideahowtodream.tumblr.com/), [skamless-happydays](https://skamless-happydays.tumblr.com/post/189951705794/weepingweellow-kr1g-darkangelofglory-i), [elliwashere](https://elliwashere.tumblr.com/)/weepingweellow

Wow the song list for the new

  * Panic!at the disco

  * Fall Out Boy

  * Bastille

  * The 1975

  * themes for a Hozier




album looks great!

**[rhythmia]:** Yayyy thank you for listening. I hope you enjoyed this journey into... flavor trauma. XD 

**[semperfiona]:** It reminded me about the post about La Croix flavors. One was "introduced to lime at someone's bar mitzvah," you know. 

**[blackglass]:** I will not hear this La Croix slander! Some of us, some of us are trying -

**[bluegeekEM]:** I too am a fan of the La Croix.

**[blackglass]:** Some of us are trying not to drink soda as much, it's the only thing we have left to us. 

**[semperfiona]:** I drink the stuff occasionally myself. But they're not wrong!

[Barbra Streisand sings, still sounding congested: I can't sleep I can't eat, get a pail and soak my feet, I got a code in my doze, O, I got a code in my doze. Please repeat what you said, funny noises in my head, I got a code in my doze, Oh, I got a code in my doze, whoo!]

**Author's Note:**

> If you're inclined to reblog tumblr posts, [here you go :D](https://rhythmelia.tumblr.com/post/639911314980012032/more-tumblr-thread-podfic-from-yours-truly)
> 
> Feel free to come yell at/with/alongside me on social media about things fannish and otherwise (linked on my profile) :D :D :D
> 
> Also, if you're a creator of any kind, have you considered putting a transformative works statement with contact info (and maybe how to say your username?) on your AO3 profile? :Db


End file.
